As in many group-oriented cultures today, Jesus did not only have to face the guardianship power of his family at the beginning of his ministry (Med.#26). On another occasion, his brothers and his mother go on a road trip as a group ‘to take charge of him’. Notice the use of power language! But what is he doing that they think is so ‘insane’? Maybe they consider it a shame to the family because he allows women of bad reputation to travel around with him, or because of what religious and social leaders are saying about him? And why does Jesus’ mother go with them? Perhaps she is just concerned that other people are taking advantage of him and that he isn’t eating properly.

At any rate, when they arrive they ‘summon’ him. More power language. But Jesus turns this summons into a rhetorical question; and he answers it by identifying his disciples as his family members—in his Father's family. Some religious cult groups use this text to suggest that Jesus' disciples become part of a new spiritual family that replaces their natural families. So is Jesus rejecting his own mother and siblings? Of course not! Jesus continues to respect his mother as ‘blessed’. He also still relates to his siblings, even though they don't believe that he is the Messiah (Jn.7:3-9).

But doesn’t Jesus also say that a true disciple of Jesus must ‘hate’ [Gr. misei] his or her parents, siblings, spouse and children (Lk.14:26)? In Hebrew usage, the Greek verb form of ‘miseo’ is less about an attitude than an action—that expresses ‘disregard and indifference’, or a ‘renouncing of one choice over another’.[iii] A better English verb for ‘acting towards someone with disregard or indifference’, is ‘to rebuff that person’, not ‘to hate’. And this is what we see Jesus doing to his family members when they try to ‘take charge of him’ and interfere with him doing his Father's will. We too are to rebuff our family members when they attempt to interfere with us doing the same.

In many Western cultures, it is easier to do this because the value of the individual has been elevated above the value of family. Yet in the Luke text just cited, Jesus tells his disciples that they often need to ‘rebuff’ [misei] their own personal life desires as well as those of family members. He himself had to do this, in the wilderness and later in Jerusalem, when he was tempted to put his own personal needs and desires above obeying his Father’s words (Med.#26). So we don’t confront the social power of family by becoming more individualistic. Nor do we confront our own selfish desires by engaging in self-hatred. Instead we must follow Jesus' example. For in him we too gain a new set of ‘heavenly’ family relationships that also have a claim on us: ‘anyone’, man or woman, who chooses to do the will of the Father and who listens to God’s word and acts on it in faith—both Israelites and people of other nations!

But, most importantly, the power relationships in this new family are very different from those in earthly families (and religious communities). Jesus demonstrates by his actions and by his words that in his new family, responsibilities are more important than rights. By coming to ‘take charge’ of Jesus and by ‘summoning’ him, his relatives are emphasizing their ‘rights’ as family members to have an exclusive and prior claim over him. Jesus, however focuses on his responsibilities to his Father, and to his new family—which are: to do only what he sees his Father doing, and to pass on what he hears from to new siblings (Med.#26 & #63)—so they too can come to know the Father, and also act in faith on his words (Med.#37).

Notice further that Jesus is not exclusive in the way he carries out these responsibilities to his new family. Many present are not yet his disciples, but are only listening to his word of God he brings. Yet if they choose to follow him and put his word into practice, then they too are his ‘siblings’. And by speaking to the crowds about God as ‘your Father’ (singular) or ‘YOUR Father’ (plural)—as he sometimes does (see Med.#11 & #16)—he is inviting them into the same relationship with the Father that he enjoys.

As we will see again in the next three meditations, there has been a change in the power relationships in this new family. Jesus' disciples are fellow adult sons and daughters of only one Father, with only one sibling, Jesus, as authoritative teacher and model (Med.#68). Yes, in the church we can look to some older and more mature sister (or brother) as a ‘mother’ or ‘mentor’, or to some older and more mature elder as a ‘father’ (Med.#71 & #76). Yet these are not to exercise social power over us in the same way that fathers and mothers in our earthly families did. Only Jesus and the Father can have such authority over us in the new family—though they often speak to us through such senior brothers and sisters, as well as through the prophetic words of other siblings. Yet as adult family members, each of us has direct access to the Father (Med.#51 & #44), and to Jesus by the Holy Spirit in our hearts and by the Scriptures. And each has the responsibility: to listen for God's word to us through all three sources, and to put it into practice.

Are you fulfilling your responsibilities as an adult member of the Father’s family, by listening regularly to your Father's word—through the Word of Christ, the Spirit of Christ and the Body of Christ? And are you putting it into practice, with Jesus as your authoritative master-teacher and model? Are you able to rebuff members of your natural family in the Spirit of Jesus when they try to ‘take charge of you’? And are you also able to rebuff your own thoughts and desires when these are in conflict with your Father’s will?

Father, thank you that in Jesus, I have direct access to you by your Spirit, as a member of your household, along with all my fellow citizens and co-heirs. (Eph.2:18-19; 3:6)

I choose to call no one Father but you, nor become dependent on anyone as master-teacher and authoritative model except Jesus:  (Mt.23:8-10; Eph.4:6)

• through the Scripture; (2 Tim.3:16-17)
• through your Spirit bearing witness with my Spirit; (Rom.8:16)
• and through senior mentors and prophets in the Body whom you have given to the church, to build me up; (Eph.4:11-12)

so that I can grow to full maturity as your son/daughter, like Jesus, and so that I can still care for my natural family, yet rebuff them and even myself when necessary. (Eph.4:13, Rom.8:29; 1 Th.5:8; Lk.14:26)

[i] The whole Scripture Passage is taken from J.K. Mellis, The Good News of the Messiah by the Four Witnesses, pp.75-77,80.

[ii] These two verses come at the end of the same events (Lk.11:14-26) which in Mt.12:22-50 and Mk.3:20-35 are in the context of the visit by Jesus’ relatives.

[iii] Drawn from 'Helps Word Studies' and Thayer's Greek-English Lexicon of the New Testament (p.415).