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False Expectations and the Darkness of Fear, Disappointment and Doubt
In his first letter, John speaks of âwalking in darknessâ as a danger for Christians who continue to sin instead of coming into the light to know the Fatherâs forgiveness and stay close to Jesus (e.g. in Med.#52 and in the three meditations that follow it). In the story of the death of Lazarus in Johnâs gospel, however, âdarknessâ is something that can overtake people when faced with Deathâeither the death of a loved one or their own death. Even followers of Jesus who believe in the resurrection are vulnerable to walking in such darkness: due to fear of people, disappointment in Jesus or due to doubts concerning himâusually because of our false expectations about what it means for him to be âMessiahâ and âLordâ. âWalking in the lightâ also has a different meaning in this story; for itâs about how Jesus faces death and lossâJudean death threats, the illness and death of his friend, and the grief of Martha and Maryâby walking in a close relationship with his Father. And when he speaks again about walking in light, it is to challenge us to walk in the same close relationship with our Father so that the darkness does not overtake us. - JKM
Meditation Text
'Father' texts:Â John 11:41; 12:49,50
Scripture passage:Â Jn.11:1,3-17,20-28, 32-45; 12:33-36,44-46,49-50
Introduction Video Time:Â 00:52
SCRIPTURE PASSAGE
There was a certain sick man, Lazarus of Bethany âthe village of Mary and her sister Martha. ...¡The sisters sent word to Jesus, âSee, Lord! The one you are deeply fond of [Gr. phileis] is sick.â ¡On hearing this, Jesus said, âThat sickness is not for Death. Instead it concerns the glory of God, and through it the Son of God will be glorified.â ¡Jesus loved [Gk. agape] Martha and her sister and Lazarus. ¡But...he stayed two days where he was... ¡Then after that, he said to the disciples, âLet us go again to Judea.â ¡The disciples said, âRabbi, of late the Judeans have sought to stone you.â ¡âAre there not twelve hours during the daytime?â Jesus replied. âIf anyone is walking during the daytime he does not stumble because he sees by the world's light. ¡But if anyone walks during the night he stumbles, because there is no light around him. ¡âŚOur dear friend [Gr. philos] Lazarus has fallen asleep, but I am going to wake him.â ¡âLord,â his disciples said, âif he is sleeping he will recover.â ¡Jesus, however, had spoken concerning his death, but they assumed that the âsleepâ he spoke of meant night-time rest. ¡So Jesus spoke frankly, âLazarus is dead; and for YOUR sake I am glad I was not there so that YOU might believe.â ¡ThomasâŚsaid to his fellow disciples, âWe might as well go too, so that we might die with him.â (John 11:1,3-16 GH[i])
On arrival, Jesus found that Lazarus had already been in the tomb four daysâŚÂˇâŚMartha went to meet him; yet Mary remained sitting in the house. ¡Martha said to Jesus, âLord, if you had been here my brother would never have died. ¡Nevertheless, I also know that whatever you might ask for from God, even now God will give you.â ¡âYour brother will rise up,â Jesus said. ¡âI know that he will rise upâ Martha said, âin the resurrection on the Last Day.â ¡Jesus said, âI am the resurrection and the life. The one who believes in me will live, even though he should die. ¡And each one who lives and believes in me into eternity shall never die. Do you believe this?' ¡âYes, Lord,â she said, âI believe that you are the Messiah, the Son of God...â ¡Having said these things, she then went and privately summoned her sister Mary, saying, âthe Teacher is here and is asking for you.â (Jn.11:17,20-28)
Now as Mary came to the place where Jesus was and saw him, she fell at his feet. âLord,â she said, âif you had been here my brother would never have died.â ¡Seeing her weeping... Jesus murmured in the Spirit. Stirred up inside, he then said, ¡âWhere have YOU laid him?â âŚÂˇJesus wept; ¡and the Judeans said, âLook how deeply fond [Gr. e-philei] of him he was!' ¡Yet some said, âCould not this man, who opened the eyes of the blind man, have done something so this man would not have died?â ¡Murmuring again to himself, Jesus arrived at the tomb. ¡âYOU there,â Jesus said, 'Take away that stone!â MarthaâŚsaid, âLord, it's the fourth day; he already smells.â ¡âDid I not say to youâ Jesus replied, âthat if you believe you will gaze on the glory of God?â ¡So they took away the stone. Then Jesus lifted up his eyes and said, 'Father, I thank you that you have heard me. ¡I knew that you always hear me. But I say it because of the crowdâŚ, so that they might believe that you sent me.â ¡And having said these things, he cried out in a loud voice, âLazarus! Come out!â ¡So out came the dead man. (Jn.11:32-45)
(Later) the crowd (said), âWe have heard from the Law that the Messiah is to remain forever. So how come you say, âThe Son of Man must be lifted up?â⌠¡Jesus said: â...Walk while YOU have the light so that no darkness overtakes YOU, for the one walking in the dark does not see where he is going. ¡...Believe in the light so that YOU may become sons of light⌠¡The one believing in me believesâŚin the One who sent me; ¡the one who observes me is observing the One who sent me⌠¡Each one who believes in me should not remain in the darkness⌠¡I have spoken not from myself; rather, the Father⌠gave me direction as to what I should say, andâŚÂˇhis direction means eternal life⌠I have spoken in the same manner as the Father spoke to me.â (Jn.12:33-36a,44-46,49-50)
MEDITATION
False expectations of Jesus, even ones based on the Bible, can lead his disciples into a kind of âdarknessâ that obscures the Father even more as they stumblingly try to keep following Jesus. Martha and Mary believe in Jesus as the promised Messiah and as the âLordâ, but they also expect him as a friend [Gr. philos] to come right away and heal their brother. Yet Jesus doesn't show up right away; and Lazarus dies. So the two sisters stumble into a darkness of the soul. When he finally does come, they can only think about âwhat would have happenedâ if he had come earlier. Mary's first reaction is to avoid Jesus. Martha does go to meet him, yet she speaks to him in religiously correct formulas. She doesn't really expect anything much to happen, and their Judean friends are beginning to express their doubts in Jesus. I don't think any of them would have chosen to sing âWhat a friend we have in Jesusâ at Lazarus' funeral service. The disciples too have false expectations. Like the Judeans, they think the Bible teaches that the promised Messiah will âremain foreverâ. When Jesus tried earlier to correct this view, his disciples either rebuked him or just kept quiet (Med.#84). A dying Messiah didn't fit into their Christology. To keep Jesus and themselves safe, they prefer to stay away from Judea. This attitude, says Jesus, exposes them to a darkness that will cause them to âstumbleâ. When Jesus finally does head for Judea, they still follow him, though one of them verbalizes the doubts that the others are surely feeling as well.
Have you developed false expectations about Jesus as a kind of Superman-friend who is there to solve all your problems? If you are like Jesus' disciples and friends, then there is something that you don't yet believe. There is something of the âglory of Godâ you too need to see if you are to âwalk in the lightâ with Jesus through the âvalley of the shadow of Deathâ (Ps.23:4). When Jesus prays to his Father at Lazarus' tomb, he reveals what this âlightâ is by speaking in the past tense. The moment he learned that his friend was ill, he began talking with the Father, and he felt âheardâ by him. The âlightâ in which Jesus walked was his relationship with the Father. And in his prayer Jesus indicates that this âlightâ is for us tooâfor all those listeningâso that we too might come to believe, and so become âsons (and daughters) of lightâ who no longer fear the darkness! Jesus' words and actions provide a model for how we too need to deal with life-threatening situations.
First of all, Jesus chooses to spend time with our Fatherâto ask for his friend's life, but also to seek understanding concerning what his Father is doing (Med.#59). What he hears he shares with his disciples: his friend's sickness will not end in glory for Death, but in glory for his Father. Secondly, he chooses to trust his Father's commands and act on them, even when these go against his natural inclinations. Despite the self-giving love [Gr. agapa] he feels for his friends, he only goes to them when his Father gives the okay two days later. And when he arrives in Bethany, he continues to trust his Dad, even though he now has to deal with four days of darkness in the lives of the sisters, and with the already decaying body of his friend.
Thirdly, Jesus does not explain everything he knows, even though Darkness clouds the emotions of his friends. In âwhatâ he says and how he says it, he limits himself to following the Father's instructions (Med.#63). His disciples are afraid, and Jesus exposes this fear by initially using a common euphemism for death, âfallen asleepâ. A euphemism, like a parable, has two meaningsâallowing people to hear the one they wish to hear (Med.#17). So the disciples only hear that Lazarus' illness isn't serious and are glad they don't have to go to Judea. With Mary and Martha, Jesus does not explain either why he was delayed, or what he is about to do. Instead, he responds by listening and showing his own emotions. By listening, he draws out all the disappointment and blame they feel in their hearts towards him. And when Mary dissolves in tears at Jesus' feet, he weeps with her. The Bible does not teach us to offer explanations to those who mourn, but rather to mourn with them.
When Jesus does use words with Martha, his aim is to help his friend confront Death the next time. To get through the next crisis, Martha needs something more than her religious formulas: âGod answers prayer in Jesus' nameâ; âI believe in the resurrectionâ; and âI believe Jesus is the Messiah, the Son of God.â All are true, but they don't help us deal with feelings of loss. By declaring âI am the resurrection and the Life,â Jesus is teaching Martha that Death has no power over those who belong to the Father's family through him. Lazarus is still very much alive, even though his body is decaying in the grave; and he is still Mary and Martha's brother! When Martha dies, she too will be still very much alive with Jesus. Meditating on this text on the way to my father's funeral in 1981, I learned that: Death can never take away our life, nor can it sever our family relationships. When we walk as Jesus did, in obedient partnership and fellowship with the Father, we grow in confidence as âsons (and daughters) of lightâ in the âlightâ of His love (Med.#52). So even when we must face Death, the darkness of doubt, fear and disappointment need never overtake us. Or gain a grip on us.
PRAYINGÂ THE WORD
Father of lights, in you there is no shadow of turning. By grace you have raised us together and seated us together in Christ among the celestial ones, far above all rule, authority, power and dominion, not only in the age to come but now as well. (Jas.1:17-18; Eph.2:5-6; 1:19-21, Med.#44)
You have placed your Spirit in my heart as a deposit, guaranteeing all that is to come, so that I may stand firm when I walk through the valley of the shadow of Death. I will fear no evil for you are with me, and you prepare a table for me in the presence of all my enemies. Father, I thank you for hearing my prayer. I know you always hear me when I pray in Jesus' name. (2 Cor.1:21-22; Ps.23:4-5; Jn.11:41)
NOTE
[i] The Scripture passage is taken from J.K. Mellis, The Good News of the Messiah by the Four Witnesses: pp.177-179, 186-188,213,228.